Mentally I've tracked my progress
Still I don't confess to be intellectually the best
As of late I couldn't really rely on my conscious to give me the right answers
It could be because I've stopped feeding myself truth
The conscious can only recall the truths it has learned
Up until this awakening I've realized my new thoughts are more deplete of truth
Now...the inverse of not feeding myself with truth would be that I've been ingesting falsities, lies, fantasies.
So as I become more transparent to you, the reader, know that in the same breath
I'm tracking my progress
And the conclusion reached.....
The Progression never ceases.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Being a Man
It's hard being a man
Being a bread winning man
Cause everybody takes
And never wishes to understand
It's hard being a man
Being their shoulder and their tissue
Cause once they've cried they don't wish to hear your issues
It's hard being a man
Being forced to hide your emotion
Cause if you break down
Then your considered weak in every notion
It's hard being a man
Being a pride bearing man
Cause when you really need help
You refuse the helping hand
It's hard being a man
Being a God fearing man
Cause at the end of the day
It's hard to see his plan
It's hard being a man
Cause at the end of the day
No one really understands
Just how hard it is
To really be a man
My Conversation with the World
Repress yourself they say
It's easier that way
Just go along with the rest
That's when they like you best
My Character they test
But I know what's best
And I refuse to rest
Until I give you my best
Turn yourself down they say
Your light is too bright for us
Your exposing the fear in us
It's in complacency we trust
Your forcing the change in us
We don't like you re-arranging us
This is me I say
And I cannot repress this
I've once tried this
Repression only leads to depression
And I refuse to die for complacency
So I speak for the millions.....just like me
It's easier that way
Just go along with the rest
That's when they like you best
My Character they test
But I know what's best
And I refuse to rest
Until I give you my best
Turn yourself down they say
Your light is too bright for us
Your exposing the fear in us
It's in complacency we trust
Your forcing the change in us
We don't like you re-arranging us
This is me I say
And I cannot repress this
I've once tried this
Repression only leads to depression
And I refuse to die for complacency
So I speak for the millions.....just like me
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Makings of You
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Two Thousand and Nine
9 - (Nine)
REFERS TO COMPLETION, attainment, fulfillment, regeneration and revelation. Many words in the Bible are used for their symbolic meanings and teachings mystically concealed. Bread and wine are usually linked together. Bread is a 3-powered word; wine is a 6-powered word; together they form a symbol of the 9-power of regeneration. Thus the serving of bread and wine means that one is to partake of a regenerative process when taking communion.
www.numerology-guide.com/biblical_numerology.htm
REFERS TO COMPLETION, attainment, fulfillment, regeneration and revelation. Many words in the Bible are used for their symbolic meanings and teachings mystically concealed. Bread and wine are usually linked together. Bread is a 3-powered word; wine is a 6-powered word; together they form a symbol of the 9-power of regeneration. Thus the serving of bread and wine means that one is to partake of a regenerative process when taking communion.
www.numerology-guide.com/biblical_numerology.htm
Monday, May 11, 2009
Super Chicken
I'm ready to fly.
I'm ready to achieve.
I feel fearless as I take a running start towards the edge of the highest cliff in the world.
The only fear I have now is that the world might not be quite ready for me yet.
So forth I charge
Like Junior Seau
Ready for any nay sayer
Ready for any doubter
Even ready for the enemy inside of me
That ambiguous voice that tells me to stop
But this growth wont stop
I wont let it
I know my destination
The sky above belongs to me
I brace my self for the turbulence......
I soar.
I'm ready to achieve.
I feel fearless as I take a running start towards the edge of the highest cliff in the world.
The only fear I have now is that the world might not be quite ready for me yet.
So forth I charge
Like Junior Seau
Ready for any nay sayer
Ready for any doubter
Even ready for the enemy inside of me
That ambiguous voice that tells me to stop
But this growth wont stop
I wont let it
I know my destination
The sky above belongs to me
I brace my self for the turbulence......
I soar.
Dear Facebook
Dear Facebook,
Um...yea. So I'm writing this letter because obviously things aren't working out with us. I've had so much fun with you over the years....but things have changed between you and I. When we first met you were much more discrete than you are now. Now you seem like an attention whore. I mean, what ever happened to not telling everyone what I wrote on Shelly's page? It's like you want my whole life to be planned around picture postings and comment sharing. Well I can't do this anymore. In the beginning I was the only one getting all of your time, now you expect me to share you with the world and I'm just too selfish for that. It would be different if you didn't nag me about finding and accepting a random persons friend request. It's gotten to the point where I don't even desire to look at you anymore.....ok, that was kinda harsh but seriously we aren't really working. Don't cry, I'm sure you'll be fine. There are so many other people waiting on you to give them thier fix, we no longer need each other. Tomorrow I'm sending Blogetta to get my things....don't worry she's nice....so far at least......She promised me she'd never get like you.....damn i hope she meant that.
Sincerely,
Former Addict
Dear Mary
Today is the day I'll quit you.
I'm tired of the same feeling.
Every time we meet I think you'll take me higher.
You've made Purple promises that have yet to be fulfilled.
Your Regular love made me frustrated with every breath.
Your Corny ways are no longer amusing.
Your powerful potency has finally had a Drowning effect on me.
And as I bid farewell to the Euphoria we once shared
I want you to know
Just how much your Green attitude towards life helped me.
You calmed me.
You listened to me.
You even heightened my vision.
And for all these things
I thank you Mary J.
Sincerely,
Lonely Stoner
I'm tired of the same feeling.
Every time we meet I think you'll take me higher.
You've made Purple promises that have yet to be fulfilled.
Your Regular love made me frustrated with every breath.
Your Corny ways are no longer amusing.
Your powerful potency has finally had a Drowning effect on me.
And as I bid farewell to the Euphoria we once shared
I want you to know
Just how much your Green attitude towards life helped me.
You calmed me.
You listened to me.
You even heightened my vision.
And for all these things
I thank you Mary J.
Sincerely,
Lonely Stoner
Grand Puzzle
How come everything I want is so far away?
Why do I desire to be more than the ma I already am?
How come people don't like to evolve; emotionally, spiritually and mentally?
Why Is change scary?
How come reality is different for each individual?
Why can't I relate to everyone reality?
How come the world is so small yet so big?
Why don't people understand how connected we all are?
How come people wish to be disconnected from the world?
Why ARE WE?
How come the answers are so close?
Why are the answers so far away?
Why is life so hard?
How come living is painful?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Random Encouragement
If one is looking back while running a race Should he not fall?
If WHILE he was running he looked back and began to dwell on what was behind him, is it only right that he stumble.
Same Is with life.
If WHILE he was running he looked back and began to dwell on what was behind him, is it only right that he stumble.
Same Is with life.
The Dreamer's Cycle.
I know you.
You're a dreamer, you are.
You wish and Hope.
Yet you sit.
And sit.
And think
Think about how hard it'll be to ever reach that impossible dream.
So you sit.
And you sit.
And you dream.
And you watch your dreams.
You watch your dreams do everything you dream of doing.
I could have done that you say.
I could be that person.
It's not that hard you say.
And there you sit
with your thoughts
and your dreams
and continue to wish
It was all a dream.
You're a dreamer, you are.
You wish and Hope.
Yet you sit.
And sit.
And think
Think about how hard it'll be to ever reach that impossible dream.
So you sit.
And you sit.
And you dream.
And you watch your dreams.
You watch your dreams do everything you dream of doing.
I could have done that you say.
I could be that person.
It's not that hard you say.
And there you sit
with your thoughts
and your dreams
and continue to wish
It was all a dream.
Silent Thoughts.
Who will understand what I'm saying?
Who will accept it without judgment?
My expression is simply that. My Expression.
Why then is it repressed? The very things that I repress can save a life.
But What good is saving a life if no one wants to be saved?
Who will accept it without judgment?
My expression is simply that. My Expression.
Why then is it repressed? The very things that I repress can save a life.
But What good is saving a life if no one wants to be saved?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Repeat
Astronaut
Note pad writing thoughts that i speak into the paper, this paper knows my every emotion because we're both one in our motion, she never discourages me yet she encourages me with every stroke of my pen, with this thing i dig deep from within and my voice it chimes in, to reveal how we feel as one collective unit, we strive for the best, we compliment each other with every feeling of emotion........we fly.....we high, we move, we glide, as we stride into the universe our sound echoes a feeling so universal we evoke emotions from deep with in the ocean the whales the sharks and penguin alike hear and feel what we mean and what we need.........we soar.......and as me, my pin and my paper arrive at our destination from which we've started from......we thank each other...for without the others...we're nothing.
New Begginings
My life began again on May 8th 2009, that's the day I cut off my three year old locks, the rest world seemed somewhat confused, but it wasn't until the next day that I began to grasp the gravity of what I had done. Don't get me wrong I'm happy about the decision I've made, but somehow i know it wasn't completely my decision. For some reason I can't help but to think that it was ordained for this to happen by a greater force than myself or any other human being. Now I know I sound crazy because I'm attempting to theorize the simple action of me cutting my hair but just bear with me. A couple of years ago I began to study biblical numerology because I know that God has a reason for everything and I know that there is something about numbers that can reveal certain hidden things in life. In my studying I found that eight is known as the number of New Beginnings. It's eerie how I just realized that I cut my hair on the eighth with no intentions to symbolize a new birth for me or even start something new in my life. It's also eerie, in relation to my unpredictable birth, how Babies never know when there going to be born when they are. As I said earlier I don't know what brought me to cut my hair, as in I can't really put into words or conceptualize why it happened other than "It was time". Everything happens at it's designated time....there are small things in life that we can control, but then there is a higher power, who I believe to be God, that orders each and everyone of our steps and things are bound to happen the way God destined them to happen........and I guess that's the end of my rant...lol
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